Working With Parent Board Members Who Struggle To Separate Their Roles

Courtesy: Renata Porter

Working with a parent board member who cannot separate their board position from being a parent is one of the unique challenges coaches face. This situation can lead to conflicts of interest, strained communication, and undue influence on coaching decisions. Understanding the complexities of this dynamic and finding ways to effectively manage it is crucial for maintaining a healthy team environment and ensuring your athletes’ best interests are prioritized and the duties of the board are maintained adhered to. To support you in navigating these challenges, the board and coaches must engage in strategies that promote open communication, establish boundaries, and foster a strong working relationship.

The first step in this process is how the board sets expectations and onboards new board members. Through the election and onboarding process, the current board should be transparent about the duties of the board member to include the fact that they are signing on to be a business leader for the organization. Being a business leader means that behavior and decisions are based on the best interest of the organization and not their child. And while intellectually everyone understands this, it’s not good enough to just have conversations about their new role.

Every board member should go through training that clarifies the distinction between the roles and responsibilities of a board member and how those differ from being a parent. The training must also include the roles and responsibilities of the Head Coach, so the lines of delineation are clear. Often most conflict arises between certain board members and coaches because they don’t understand where their role ends and where the coaches begin. The same for the coaches, often they feel they have responsibilities or rights to decisions that well and truly sit with the board. Being clear on each position’s roles and responsibilities provides clarity and reduces conflict.

Additionally, the board should sign off on their own code of conduct. Every club has a code of conduct for their members. There should also be one for board members. One where expected behaviors and responsibilities are noted along with processes that outline when to utilize conflict of interest and how the board holds each other accountable to not blur the lines between being a board member and parent. These processes set boundaries and emphasize the importance of separating board and parental roles during meetings and decision-making processes.

If a coach or other board members find themselves in a situation where a parent is struggling to navigate themselves between board member and parent, these strategies may help:

1. Foster and encourage open and respectful dialogue where all board members and the head coach can express their concerns and opinions. Without being accusatory, address any confusion or concerns that have arisen due to mixing of roles
2. Use the code of conduct and processes you’ve established as your guide. Having a formal set of instructions in these instances leaves little wiggle room for nuances and emotional decisions
3. Seek external guidance and support from a consultant or experience facilitator. An outside voice of reason can encourage mediation and understanding because they are not emotionally charged over the instance at hand
4. If all else fails, the board must require that the person who is emotionally charged over a situation recuse themselves from any decision making over the issue as they have a conflict of interest
5. Lastly, there must be consequences for repeat offenders who simply cannot separate themselves from being a parent. (This should be detailed in the code of conduct and processes)

While I feel it’s far and few in-between there is such a thing as herd mentality, and being able to address it while staying focused on the organizations best interest can be daunting. Just like I witness club boards being afraid to let coaches go when they should, I’ve heard many stories on the flip side. Those where the board gets emotionally charged over one minor incident and they want to let that coach go for the silliest of reasons.

While the process is the same as I’ve already outlined in addressing this, it’s important to recognize getting the ship to right itself is much more difficult than working with one outlier.  You still must break things down into parts: open dialogue, engage code of conduct and processes, seeking external guidance, and requiring the conflict-of-interest policy to be utilized. However, when you approach the open dialogue, being over prepared is key. Create a plan to lay things out in a methodical way and work through what you feel their responses will be. You have some experience in how they act, so incorporate ready-made responses into your plan. If you are able to answer their questions before they ask them, the quicker the walls will come down. Because of the herd mentality, there are two things that you can do to reduce the hyped emotion. First, is to listen. Give them the chance to express themselves without jumping right in and defending your stance. You’ve prepared yourself, so when it’s your turn you will get all of your points across in a succinct way. While you are listening, you can ask clarifying questions. Ask them to give examples or explain what they mean by specific statements. The more clarity you have, the better your response will be. Second, and probably the hardest part, is to not engage emotionally. The more matter of fact you can approach the situation the better. Whether you are the coach or one board member fighting the herd, being prepared in your approach and doing your best to not be drawn into the emotion will help you stand your ground and make your case.

Navigating the challenges of working with a parent board member who struggles to separate their roles can be a difficult situation. By establishing clear boundaries from the beginning and fostering open communication, a positive environment can be created for all involved.

ABOUT RENATA PORTER

Renata Porter is a dedicated business consultant with a focus on youth sports clubs. Her company provides actionable guidance and support to help sports clubs to shift from old mindsets and sameness to running the club as the business it is. Renata has helped clubs have positive operational outcomes by being an end-to-end partner, sharing her passion to see clubs succeed.

You can find more information at Your Sports Resource.