10 Female Swimmer Problems

by SwimSwam 43

November 25th, 2016 Britain, Europe, Lifestyle, Opinion

Courtesy of Claire Forrest

The girlfriends I met through swimming are some of the best people I have in my life. The pool brings people together, and our time on various swim teams has bonded us for life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

There are a lot of aspects and experiences unique to the female swimmer. I laugh (and/or roll my eyes) about these a lot with my swimmer girls, and maybe you do too.

10) The disappointment when your nail polish doesn’t even last 12 hours. You’ve put on a great new shade and you’re feeling pretty good about it. But not even the best top or base coat combination can withstand a swim practice. Does it deter you? Nope. Just an excuse to try another color.

9) When you find a fashionable jacket or dress that fits properly over your shoulders and back, you’re tempted to buy one in every color. Can we petition to re-term “Man Shoulders” to “Insanely In-Shape Person Shoulders”? Big shoulders were never just for dudes.

8) You look wistfully at the expensive shampoos at the hair salon and the fancy products at the makeup counter. It’s not worth it when you could go through a quarter of those tiny bottles in one day. For many female swimmers, it’s waterproof mascara with a touch of chapstick on a good day. And forget hair styling tools! A messy wet bun and we’re out the door after morning practice, ready to tackle the day, and then back in the pool at night.

7) You are confused as to why women can’t swim the 1,500 in the Olympics yet. We’ve experienced Janet Evans, Katie Ledecky, and many other extremely talented distance swimmers. I think we’ve proved that women can swim the 1,500 as well as anyone by now.

6) When you show up to practice in the cutest new suit, only to see four of your other teammates bought it too. Let’s face it, swimming doesn’t have the added benefit of being able to wear cute workout gear like yoga or spin classes. A colorful, patterned suit is pretty much all the expression we’ve got. And no matter what, you won’t be the only girl on the team with that suit.

5) Shedding. Enough said. Boys don’t know how lucky they are to be able to shave their heads during swim season. The amount of dry, brittle hair you pull out of your hair and brush after practice is appalling.

4) Hoping against hope that your body doesn’t betray you during the biggest meet of your life. Ladies, you know what I’m referring to. And to make it perfectly clear for anyone who’s wondering: I’ve never met a female swimmer who has ever backed down from practice or a meet with this as an excuse. Mother Nature can’t stop us.

3) Explaining to your non-swimmer girlfriends why you’re not interested in dating any of the male swimmers on your team. There might be exceptions to this, of course, but the way your non-swimmer friends talk about boys in Speedos, they think you’d be into every one of them. First off, if you’re a female swimmer, you’ve seen so many boys in Speedos, it doesn’t even phase you anymore. Secondly, your team is family, and your male teammates are your friends, and like brothers.

2) Shaving. Girls count down to that final day of taper when they can finally shave their legs. Shaving is a privilege, honestly. Non-swimming women don’t know how lucky they are. Though, to be honest, it’s really nice to have an excuse not to shave your legs, too.

1) When non-swimmers challenge you to a pull-up contest or say they could probably beat you in a 50 free. Just like any swimmer, females have incredible arm strength, so don’t second guess us on pull-ups. And in the pool? We swim like girls, and that’s a good thing, so you’re out of luck. Swim on, ladies!

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6 years ago

I love this!! so true.

6 years ago

Jewelry: If you decide to try to accessorize your outfits with jewelry, you not only put it on in the morning to see if it is going to work and to get it to the pool, but you have to put it on again after morning workout and again after afternoon workout. While you are swimming, you have to find somewhere safe to store it, store it so that it doesn’t get damaged or kinked, and try hard not to lose it!

Reply to  flswmrgrl
6 years ago

Those pill organizers for old people are actually pretty good for storing small earrings and rings. For anything larger, the travel products section of a typical department or discount store should have small plastic jewelry boxes you can throw into a swim bag.

Reply to  flswmrgrl
6 years ago

This being the reason I don’t wear jewelry much to this day… The one time I did I zipped it up in my bag and it got stolen at a swim meet.

6 years ago

Chaffing. Some man thought I was being stupid worrying about chaffing in an open water swim. I dont think he thought about the straps on a girls swimsuit compared with basic briefs the boys wear.

6 years ago

Great article. However, I am sad to see that female swimmers still feel that they MUST accept having bad hair and skin. Those problems come from a poor understanding of chlorine-related side-effects.
We have spent about 5 years coming up with a REAL solution to all of these hair/skin problems. If you are interested, you can check it out at SwimSpray.com.
In my opinion, it’s worth visiting just to see Mike Lewis’s photos!

Reply to  Andrew Chadeayne
6 years ago

Swim Spray ROCKS! no more stinky flaky for me.

6 years ago

On #4, the half of my college swim team that was on the pill would all use that to adjust their cycle so that a ‘bad day’ would not impact their A taper meet of the year. Dates for The Big Meet are published well in advance and even a doctor that’s pretty conservative with treatment generally will tell you it’s perfectly okay to go ahead and go 1-2 days longer each month with the non-placebo from 5-6 months out until your cycle was timed to where it needed to be for peak performance.

Reply to  beachmouse
5 years ago

Wow, I wish I had know about that trick. I spent a whole year training for “the big meet” my last year as an age grouper, only to be done in by my cycle. I always tried to rise above it, never missed a workout because of it, but it did something weird to the circulation in my legs during/after a race (they turned splotchy-purple) and I’d be doubled over in pain with cramps. Needless to say, my times would suck. You dudes are so lucky you don’t have to deal with this one!

6 years ago

How’s about:
#11 – permanent gouges on your shoulders.
#12 – budgetting an extra few hundred dollars for swimsuits and caps per season.

6 years ago

#13 – the excuses boys come up with when you beat them in practice

Reply to  floppy
6 years ago

Like the classic: oh, I didn’t think we were racing.

6 years ago

This is ridiculous.
Guys could never articulate their “unique aspects and experiences” and be truthful and get published……………and not get a maelstrom of grief on this forum about it.