This piece was contributed by Caley Oquist . Caley is a senior and a sports administration major at Louisiana State University. She’s the LSU school record in the 100 and 200 back, as well as part of the school’s best-ever 400 medley relay.
Dear Mom,
Last time we saw each other I was 11 years old, fearless, carefree and in love with a sport that you introduced me to. You gave me no option and made me be your mold of a swimmer. You drug me to every practice, signed me up for every meet and allowed me into this world of swimming. I was a diva who wore pink goggles and would spend hours in our back yard pool in between practices because I was in love with this sport that drew me closer to you.
But then you got sick… really sick. You started to fade away and our biggest connection was this sport, the pool, the times, the meets. Until one day, you were no longer here, and you were called to heaven. You left me here when I was 11 years old to figure out what this world is, and how to be independent. And yet, after everything, swimming was our one connection. It was my way to feel you. When I dove in the water, and was surrounded with silence, I felt you around me and pushing me, no matter how hard I fought this sport, it was my way to reach you.
And now here I am, a decade later after your passing, graduating as an LSU swimmer, just like you. You paved this way for me and I followed in your footsteps. When I got to campus freshman year, you were everywhere. Even when I was going through the hardest workouts of my life, or when I was cleaning up the stadium, you were there. When I failed and succeeded, when I lost a race or when I broke a record. You stayed by my side and reminded me to keep fighting. Just like you once did.
And boy did I fight mom. But I did it; I made it through four years as a division 1 athlete. You would be so proud of me. But more so, you would be so proud of dad. He never stopped supporting me and caring for me. He loved me the way a father should love his daughter, and he was always my number one fan. He took a broken girl and fixed her wings and let her fly. He made your dreams come true. We owe him everything.
I wish you could have been here to meet my team, and my coaches. You would have argued with Dave because you both are so stubborn, but you would have respected him because he cared for me. He gave me the opportunity to follow in your footsteps, and I can’t thank him enough. He welcomed me into this team and allowed my dreams to come true. You would have loved Steve because you two shared the same passion for this sport, and the same short temper. But mom, Jeana is the person you should thank more than anyone. She took me under her wing and cared for me more than just an athlete. She saved me in more ways that she will ever know. She cared for me the way you would have and I know you two would be best friends. So I ask for you to be her daughter’s guardian angel, and give back to her what she did for me.
You would have loved the entire staff mom, but I’m not sure if they would love you because you would try to tell them how to do their job. But they all took care of us, the weight coaches, training staff, academic staff and coaches, they made us a family. And you would have loved my teammates, especially the senior class, because we all fought this battle together, side-by-side. We were all fighters, just like you.
More importantly, the team allowed me to miss you. They knew everything I did was because of you and not just by me, but by all of us, your name was said, and fought for. Your story was told, heard and remembered mom. I have lived my life for you and I cannot thank you enough for giving me this life. I became an LSU tiger because of you. If you hadn’t of come here, or if you wouldn’t have passed away, I never would have met Kara, Allie, Stacey, Cass, Devon, Colin or any of my teammates who are now my family. I have realized though that this is so much more than just saying goodbye to this sport, or this place, I am saying goodbye to us. In some ways the end to this chapter is an end to a bond I would have with you when I was in the water, or walking these grounds. I now have to find a new way to feel your presence.
And if I have learned anything from you it’s that life is bigger than these four years. And that there is so much joy out there and LSU was just a platform, just a starting spot for the rest of my life. You showed by the way you fought for your life and for your family that life is short so why not always be the best you can be and why not love with all you are. I love you so much and I miss you everyday mom. I am who I am because of who you were. If I become half the woman you were, I will have lived a life worth living.
So mom, as I am less then three weeks from graduating, and as I have hung up my goggles, I want to thank you for giving me this direction and being my guardian angel. Knowing this team, being an LSU swimmer, and being your daughter has shaped me into the woman I am today. I hope you got to see it all through Heavens eyes and I hope you are proud of your once 11-year-old girl who is now a LSU alum.
Love,
Caley
I am very touched by your words, your passion and mostly your love for your mother. I lost my son in his senior year of college and I often try to live my life in a way that would make him proud. You succeeded in doing that for your Mom, your Dad and your team. God bless you. What a success. I promise you that your mother is with you and is so very proud of all that you do. And I am a Tulane grad but one who recognizes greatness even if you wear purple and gold.
What a beautiful tribute to your Mom and Dad. You sure have grown into a beautiful young lady. Congratulations on all your accomplishments.
Caley,
Graduations and all of your achievements! This is beautifully written and brings tears to my eyes. Your mother was such an inspiration for all of us young ladies on her swim teams. Beautiful in every sense of the word, she is forever missed but never forgotten.
You will be amazing, just like her.
Hi Honey. Your Mom and I were close Cousins when she was 11. Its like she never left cause you carry the Legacy so gracefully. What happened to you happens to a lot of people. Its what you did with it that makes it special. YOU ARE THE CHAMPION! Congrats on Graduating. Keep swimming even if its not in the pool. She is with you and all of us. Love from Denver
Caley – What a great dedication to your mom. She is still a huge presence with the Monticello Swim Club today. Courtney had the honor of being one of the recipients this year for The Heidi Oquist Scholarship through the Monticello Swim Club. Your brother Shane spoke about your mom and shared her story to the new and upcoming club swimmers that never were fortunate enough to meet your mom. Courtney was lucky to call you her teammate and we had so much fun being a part of the Monticello High School Girls Swim Team and being a part of your high school swim career. The passion you have for swimming made a huge impact on the girls and you… Read more »
Caley– Courtney was one of the recipients of The Heidi Oquist Scholarship that was given out from the Monticello Swim Club. You brother Shane gave the scholarship and spoke about your mom to the new club swimmers that never had the honor of meeting her. Her love for swimming is still being honored and her story shared. We were so fortunate to be apart of Monticello High School swim team and Courtney got to call you her teammate. You a had a big impact on the team and you passed on the love of the sport to so many. Here is part of Courtney’s essay where she mentions your mom …If I receive this scholarship I feel the qualities I… Read more »
What a beautiful tribute to your mother and the sport you both loved. Congratulations on your graduation and best wishes for much success as your story continues!!
I can’t quit crying – well done