Courtesy of Pete Thompson. Pete has worked in the sport psychology and human development fields with Fortune 500 companies, Division I,II, and III collegiate athletes. He was a swimming coach at the club, high school and collegiate level for 30 years. Pete runs a private Sport Psychology and Adolescent Life Coaching practice, working with student-athletes nationwide.
As we are all aware by now, Michael Phelps has been charged with DUI, his second offense. In learning of this, perhaps we are also reminded of his infamous bong incident and have begun to paint a picture of Mr. Phelps in unflattering terms. Certainly, he has provided fodder to the swimming community and country at large for casting a negative light on himself, and by extension, USA Swimming. Mr. Phelps must account for these transgressions. However, before we go too far down the path of judgment I would like to offer some cautionary insights into this behavior in the hope that it encourages us to grapple with the nuances of fame and fortune, and perhaps feel the inclination to support (while simultaneously feeling disappointment and anger), rather than to simply condemn.
First and foremost, Michael Phelps is a person, and this person serves in a professional role. He too suffers from the imperfections of humanity. Unfortunately in our society we often idealize the rich, famous, and accomplished and in so doing inadvertently begin to see them as objects that represent our ideal, and not as the human beings that they are. For USA Swimming, this is heady stuff. Our community has always espoused the ideals of hard work, perseverance, integrity, and competitive honesty. It is what has made our sport so successful over the years, has led our country to feel tremendous pride in all of our Olympians, and inspired countless children to join in the pursuit of excellence. So, when one of our own falls down, or lets us down, we tend to react with recrimination. This is understandable.
If, however, we stop and consider the enormous pressures elite athletes face, particularly our superstars, and how potentially vulnerable this makes them feel, we might see things a bit differently. To be clear, in no way am I excusing drunk driving. It has caused irreparable harm and heartache for too many people (as has alcohol abuse in general). Again, Mr. Phelps needs to account for himself. What I am suggesting is that we also recognize Mr. Phelps as a human being, perhaps carrying too much stress and pressure for the role he plays for both our country, and our entire swimming community. The pressures of being cast as a role model are daunting, and can leave these folks feeling lonely and alone. Let us also consider his documented ADHD diagnosis, largely a genetic manifestation, that brings with it brain-based tendencies toward impulsivity, anxiety, boredom, and, yes, substance abuse. I would imagine that for the the 8 million adults diagnosed with this reality, the challenges are multi-faceted.
While we can safely assume that USA Swimming and the State of Maryland will be holding Mr. Phelps accountable, we can also acknowledge our disappointment and anger at his behavior. Given this, we can, and should, hold the mindset of inquiry (as opposed to judgment) into the reasons behind Michael’s most recent behavior. The life coaching questions that might be asked of him include;
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How did you get here?
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What’s changed?
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What do you want for yourself?
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What resources will support you?
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Do you have the courage to utilize them?
In answering these questions perhaps Mr. Phelps will be truly supported and challenged to make changes. Ultimately, he is the one responsible for doing so. Perhaps, as a swimming community, we can support this process by seeing him, and all that are celebrated for their high accomplishment, as a person first, and therefore deserving of our compassionate perspective. After all, it is only through support, compassion, and challenge that any of us can grow.
ABOUT PETE THOMPSON
Pete has worked in the sport psychology and human development fields with Fortune 500 companies, Division I,II, and III collegiate athletes, as well as high school and middle school staff and students. He was a swimming coach at the club, high school and collegiate level for 30 years. Pete now runs a private Sport Psychology and Adolescent Life Coaching practice, working with student-athletes nationwide. His life coaching sessions for adolescents are designed to create challenge, teach resilience, and instill self-esteem. You can visit his website here.
Personal responsibility is key. He deserves to be punished according to the law. Hold him accountable so he takes responsibility. Should a casino breathalyze everyone. Come on people stop enabling. ! Lochte said it best he makes stupid decisions. He needs to change that and holding him accountable is the only way. Remember this isn’t his first.
USA Swimming will do what they always do to protect their big money makers for swimming. They will comment as lightly as they can possibly get away with and give him the most minimal suspension from USA Swimming as they can. In USA Swimming’s eyes, the Code of Conduct violations that apply to others wont apply to Phelps, specifically the ones about being arrested, and ANYTHING that gives USA Swimming or the sport of swimming a bad name. Slap on the wrist is all they can afford until they have another up and coming prodigy they can hoist up onto their shoulders. Then they will throw Phelps under the bus…. then and only then.
My only question is what has Phelps done since his first drinking and driving incident to change his behaviors? I know that he will be treated differently because of his fame. Other, lesser swimmers would be treated worse than criminals if they had done this. Just saying.
If I read one more sanctimonious, holier than thou, I’m better than you comment implying that MP is an alcoholic or has alcohol problems, I’m gonna barf.
He made a bad judgement decision and now his name is going to get dragged through the mud for the next year or two. He’s the most famous drunk driver in the USA at this particular time. Some other celebrity will replace him soon enough.
Folks, he screwed up and got nailed by the cops. If he does it again, then I have a right to call him an idiot. I know tons of folks that have had DUIs. I’m not saying in any way that it’s not a big deal, but sensible… Read more »
Finally, the voice of reason!
What a joke. The guy showed a total disregard for anyone and everyone around him…nothing new. It’s not time to “move on.” Its time for people to care about the person, Michael Phelps, rather than the image and dream for him to swim in 2016….otherwise you don’t really care about him. He has a lot of growing up to do and a long life ahead of him which will stink if he does not get help…period. Swimming at this point is not an issue. Who cares. Yea he is a great swimmer…so what – he could have killed anyone without a second thought. If he cant handle the spotlight take him out of it and make him get his life… Read more »
While I am not excusing his poor decision or the potential for harm to others, getting excited about this is overkill. If he was pulled over for texting and driving we wouldn’t even hear about it, yet texting and driving is associated with more accidents and deaths than DUI.
Again, it doesn’t excuse drinking and driving, but it does point out safety/danger vs. poor decisions… just don’t get too caught up in the hype.
Also, FWIW, 2x the legal limit is pretty damn drunk. Friends have one of those home BAC devices and I’ve blown a .08 – even before testing I knew I was far enough along that I shouldn’t drive. @ 2x the legal limit Phelps should have… Read more »
While all of us are obviously disappointed to see Phelps in this situation I don’t believe it at all detracts from what he has done for the sport and the swimming community. He is still the most decorated Olympian in history’s no has done wonders for encouraging participation in the sport.
And while none of this excuses his actions he is still a great role model for every young swimmer and if anything this makes him seem more human and less of the robotic machine we are accustomed to seeing. We all make mistakes, and clearly Phelps made one the other night but to say he should be banned by USA swimming or he has an alcohol abuse problem Is… Read more »