Only breaststroke is ok, because it doesn’t create too many waves. Freestyle and backstroke? They’re bad, way too splashy, and butterfly is the real menace, a wave generating pollutant to the pristine, glassy pool conditions loved by rec swimmers.
This is not a joke if you live in Gelnhausen, Germany, according to the Austrian Times report Swim Pool Too Splashy Say Health and Safety.
Pool, health and safety officials have banned the strokes that require over the water recovery, which means doggie paddle and sidestroke are ok…and, of course, breaststroke.
According the bureaucratic bosses in Gelnhausen, the crawl or the butterfly cause too much splashing for the “safety” of other swimmers and waste water.
“We want to make sure that swimming is an enjoyable experience for the average visitor, and that means protecting them from the excesses of the more athletic users,” Manager Volkmar Beer told the Austrian Times.
The situation isn’t completely totalitarian. You can swim the Australian crawl and butterfly, but only if the pool is clear of recreational swimmers.
Town Hall officials are investigating the harsh pool rule. “I have been flooded with complaints. I don’t see how a swimming pool can cause so much friction,” Mayor Thorsten Stolz told the Austrian Times.
I always loved it when the old ladies in water aerobics class complained about getting splashed. Your hair is fair game. You’re in a pool! Anyway, if they were nice about it, I tried to tone down the wake when I went past them. If they were nasty, well, then I put on the monofin.
This qualifies as a “Socially acceptable reason to punch someone in the face” moment.
If you haven’t picked up the book, I highly suggest it. Read discretion is advised.
……yep