Courtesy: Charles Hartley
Some of us have been fortunate enough to be really good at something, maybe even the best in our town or country or the world.
Family, friends, fans and the media give us adulation and praise. We feel special. We stand out in the crowd. Others are dazzled by what we are capable of doing that few others can.
But then one day that’s no longer. We’re not the best. Our skills diminish. We get older. Maybe our desire to be great loses its allure.
When this fall happens, everybody knows it. Some take shots at us. Some heckle. They try to mess with our minds, make us feel bad to make themselves feel better.
We strive to get back to the top but we don’t. Our greatest achievements are so yesterday.
People who once praised us move on, focus on other people on the rise, the ones who are at the top.
We get pushed aside. We’re told to move on, do something else, find another path to pursue, because we’re never going to be great anymore. We get marginalized, told we’re only allowed to swim in Lanes 1 or 8.
This is the situation that Ryan Lochte is now living through. At one time not too long ago he was one of the best male swimmers in the world. He won 12 Olympic Medals. To this day there has never been anyone who has swam the 200-meter individual medley faster than Lochte. It’s his world record.
But during the recent U.S. Olympic Swimming Trials, in this exact event where he became especially famous – and absolutely revered as a swimmer – he ran into the harsh reality of life that we all face: we’re not the best.
Lochte placed sixth in the event. To qualify for the Olympics he would have had to finish in the top two.
So he won’t be going to Tokyo to represent the United States as part of the U.S. Olympic Team. His swimming career has reached, like the last page of a great novel, the end.
Sure he could keep swimming for four more years and try again but by then he’ll be over 40 years old. We all know it’s not realistic he’ll be fast enough to quality for the Olympics again no matter how hard he practices for the next four years.
Reality now reverberates like a thunderbolt. The long road of life he’s lived as a swimmer has finished its last act. He may stay involved in swimming perhaps as a coach, but he’ll never be cheered on for his prodigious swimming talents. That’s over.
It’s sad. Life’s that way sometimes. We all know.
It’s really confusing and emotionally painful when any of us comes to realize that whatever we dedicated our lives to be great at is no longer something we can be great at. Physically, mentally, and psychologically, it can’t be done. We can keep practicing but it’s never going to be like it once was with us living the dream superstar hero life. It’s like we’re dog paddling lap after lap aimlessly.
The question then becomes “what do we do next?” It’s a question that’s tough to grapple with. Why? Because whatever we decide to do will be like starting from way back in line because to become the greatest we had to push aside just about everything else.
We sharpened one skill and didn’t develop many others. It’s such a long road back to the top of another craft. Where to begin, what to choose to spend time on from all the possibilities this world offers, can be enough to make us throw up our hands and say “I don’t know what I want to do next.”
Lochte may or may not know. But one thing’s for sure. Whatever he chooses, the chances of him reaching in his new endeavors the popularity heights he did as an award-winning swimmer are much lower.
But here’s the most important thing Lochte and all of us can gain from this fall from the top story. The chances of us finding more fulfillment in this next phase of life are actually much greater than we realize. It’s a bit counterintuitive. We may not be the best and win all the Gold Medals, but we can – and should — make more important contributions to the world in our second act.
Ask yourself this question: Will Lochte make a more valuable contribution to this world by sharing his life story, including the big mistakes he made in the 2016 Olympics and what he’s teaching his children, or by sharing what it was like to be a star swimmer?
The answer is clear: Lochte has a compelling, unique and valuable story to keep sharing with young people including swimmers about what it’s like to be on top of the world and then, in a few days, be the central character in an international scandal that damaged his reputation, ended swimming endorsements, and sent his life into a downward spin.
There’s more to learn from someone who’s lived this unusual life story than there is from someone explaining how he broke a world record. Plenty of people have done the latter; few have lived through all Lochte has. And he can share this story and inspire young people to pick themselves up after being knocked down, as he has since 2016, and strived to be a better person.
After his last trials at the recent Trials, the winner and new 200 IM star, Michael Andrew, called Lochte a “legend.”
How many of us live lives that people would consider legendary? Almost no one. But Lochte has. He’s been a special swimmer, a gifted guy who worked hard at his craft for his entire life.
Not a bad start so far, Ryan. You are a legend. Now it’s time to build on that legendary life you’ve started by giving all you can in your next phase of life.
You’re going to love doing this. It may not seem possible now, but you’ll be more fulfilled in this next phase than any of your amazing swimming achievements.
You may not believe this but it’s true: Lift gets better the longer we live it. We rise to the top. We fall short. We lose. We get replaced. We get fired. We get frustrated. We wonder what it all means and whether we should go forward.
And we find out the answer is yes. We should move forward. Because we’re meant to. And because it’s the great mystery and secret to a meaningful life, to keep going among uncertainty and pain and not being the greatest anymore.
And it’s, ironically, greater than anything else we’ve ever experienced. It’s a more deeply satisfying experience.
Raising children beats any swimming world record. Helping others will give your life more meaning than any of your Gold Medals.
You, like the rest of us, have plenty of great days ahead of you.
You last race at the Trials was not the end. It was the beginning.
ABOUT CHARLES HARTLEY
Charles Hartley is a freelance writer based in Davidson, North Carolina. He has a masters degree in journalism and a masters degree in business administration.
The US should stop taking MAster’s swimmers to the Olympics.
Great story ! Great swimmer ……… no matter when the end is , it will be the beginning ……
Stop trying to retire the man. It’s like you’re saying if you can’t make the Olympic Team, there’s no point. If you can’t be an All-Star, get off the field. That mentality is as prevalent as it is toxic. Is it any wonder that mental health issues plague athletes? He clearly wants to keep racing. He still has goals. He has a lot to offer younger swimmers. Let him continue to enjoy the thing he loves to do most. He will decide when it’s time to retire, not you.
His swimming accomplishments speak for themselves, legend or not.
His Rio 2016 will be part of his epitaph, I suspect.
Now, it is time for the really important work: raising a family in a thoughtful, loving manner.
Fade to black. . . . . Cue lights: New Life Ahead!
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy’s eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
“Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!”
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries… Read more »
absolutely lovin’ that poetry, Johnny A.
I really don’t get this thing about age in swimming. In cycling and long distance running athlete reach their peak in their 30’s. Carlos Lopes for example won the Marathon at the 84 Olympic Games at 37 years old and broke the world record one year later, just like several others who won medals in their late 30’s
The energy systems for running a marathon are completely different from a 2 minute race
True, but in all other sports people reach their velocity/sprinting peak in their mid 20’s and endurance peak in mid 30’s.
For some reason in swimming the narrative is the opposite.
Lochte could always reach for longer distances, as a matter in fact his training program is really suited for that.
I believe he also as a bright future in an isl format competition
It’s almost like an 8-hour cycling race or a 2-hour marathon are different than a 2-minute swim race. . .
Actually, open water swimmers that do longer distances than pool swimmers are older on average. This is why Europe does well in open water.
Here’s a related anecdote: After the Closing Ceremony in 1984 I stopped to eat at a McDonald’s on Figueroa Street, not far east of the USC Row. The restaurant was packed but quiet. Hispanic crowd. Then all of a sudden there was a huge commotion. Lots of cheering. I had no idea what was going on. Then somebody said it was the marathon winner. Sure enough, I recognized him from early that morning. It was Carlos Lopes with a small entourage. He was beaming. Stayed a long time, signing autographs and posing for pictures. I’m not sure he ever had time to eat.
What a thoughtful and wonderfully written article.
Agreed! Lochte will hopefully find some time in the near future to learn to read along-side his kids, learn the importance of telling the truth and humility, and learn how to be a father instead of an overgrown toddler.
How does this have 5 upvotes