My First Meet In The Stands

This weekend I was able to make it back up to my college to watch my team swim for the first time since graduating. While my team has been able to swim some meets over the course of the year, this was the first home meet that fans were allowed to come watch, and I am incredibly grateful that it could happen in a covid-friendly environment. It was super strange to be considered a spectator as opposed to one of the competitors. I was so excited though to get to cheer on my old teammates in person rather than via the livestream, that my heart rate picked up as soon as I opened the doors to the building and smelled that oh so familiar chlorine smell. It was like immediately being back at home. Once you spend four years of your life staring at the black line in a particular pool (quite often the black line in lane 2 to be specific) it will forever be your home. It’s kind of a “once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen of Narnia” situation if you know what I mean.

It was senior night, which means emotions were running high on deck. It definitely doesn’t feel like it’s been enough time since my own senior night a year ago for another class to be racing in a home meet for their last time. One of my European friends asked me last year at my senior night if I would come drive up for hers and be her Mom and our other friend to come be her Dad to walk her out when they announced the seniors since her family would not be able to make it. So, I got to be the Swim Mom and walk her out, which truly made me feel so proud. Standing in line with the rest of the seniors’ actual parents, I had to agree that they just grow up so fast :’)

As I was sitting up in the stands watching and cheering, I had a realization about half way through the meet that I was sweltering. I thought to myself, ah so this is what my parents experienced for all of those years while I was walking around the pool deck comfortably, or even a little chilly, in my suit. I definitely do not like this whole being sweaty in the stands thing. I think I would prefer being on deck in my parka.

It was a strange feeling for me, not getting to be a part of the team cheer, or seeing people wearing new team gear that I realized I would never have. When the 50 Free stepped up on the block I had the strangest sense of deja vu, because a year ago that was me. I realized that while it felt strange to see new faces of the freshmen and transfers that I had never swam with wearing the team cap, that they were part of the future. More than anything though, I just felt so proud of my team and so happy to get to say I had even a little part in it. It was funny, after talking to a few of my teammates I found myself asking them, “are you excited to swim?’. I thought to myself, why do I keep asking this, I sound SO OLD! I think that was the first question out of my mouth because I was excited to be there. I was excited to see the people who I had once trained with for hours on end to step up on the block again. I was excited to get to cheer on my friends in person, and not just yell at them through the live stream on my computer.

It’s weird walking back into the place you spend four years pouring your heart and soul into for the first time in a long time. It is even a stranger feeling to truly realize that it will never be me getting up on those blocks to score for my team again. Yet, it feels right knowing that the team will continue to flourish long after I graduated.