Courtesy of Alyssa Swanson
As most of the girls on my team know, I have a theory that if you donβt want to quit swimming at least twice a week youβre not working hard enough.
Now imagine this, I am 10. I am told to hold a streamline and dolphin kick underwater to the other end of the pool. For the first time In my life, I think to myself, I want to quit swimming.
I am 12. Iβm preparing for my 50 butterfly, nervously chatting to the girl behind me. I dive in and immemorial swim two stokes of freestyle, and am fairly confident I am disqualifiedβ¦ I am so incredibly embarrassed. I want to quit swimming.
I am 14. Iβm watching a scary Movie with my friends and I get a text from my mom telling me sheβs here to pick me up. My friends are making fun of me for leaving atΒ 10pmβ¦. but I have practice in the morning. What do you want me to do? Quit swimming?
I am 16. For one entire week, I actually did quit swimming.
I am 17, I feel like Iβm going to to pass out almost every time I touch the water. The doctor tells me it would help if I got a pacemaker. Maybe I should quit swimming.
I am in my first semester of my freshman year here at ISU, my coach Steve Paska writes 20x200s on the whiteboard. Oh my godβ¦.. what have I doneβ¦. Iβm gonna have to quit swimming.
A year later before our 400IM, my teammate Karley Licking and I have managed to talk ourselves into borderline panic attacks in the diving well of Notre Dameβs aquatic center. I look at Karley and say, βWhy do we do this? Why donβt we just quit swimming?β
Itβs my junior year. I am on my second IM set of the day and itβs not evenΒ 7am.Β I feel like I have heard the same three songs played over and over for at least an hourβ¦. my head is pounding. I take a deep breath and say: βthatβs it, If I hear one more Sean Kingston song, I am going to quit swimmingβ
I am swimming the last race of my career, I touch the wall at the half way mark of my 200 fly, my whole body screaming in protest and I almost laugh to myself thinking, βIs it too late to quit swimming?β
I finish the race. I sob into the gutter.
Iβm not ready to quit swimming.
About Alyssa Swanson
An Eden Prairie Minnesota native, Alyssa Swanson is a recently retired division 1 swimmer at Illinois State University. She is currently pursuing her degree in elementary education, and is looking forward to seeing what adventure comes next.
We have an ongoing discussion with our 3 teen boys about quitting. Our challenge is however that they also participate in other team sports and seem to get a lot more out of the friendship and team dynamics. It is very difficult to encourage to “keep swimming Nemo” if you are competing with other sporting codes.
After I touched the wall in my final college race, a 200 back in the conference championship, I remember my first thought was: βYes! I NEVER have to do this again, EVER!β
After that race, I kept in shape, but went 38 years without swimming. I started up about 5 years ago and have been swimming all over the world competing in Masters Swimming. For my age, I am in amazing shape, and am grateful to be able to swim and compete, but the love/hate relationship with swimming is still very real for me.
Time to move on to masters swimming. With masters, you never need to quit! it’s more fun and less intense.
Beautifully written… I can totally relate.
Forbes talked about having a skill for life…….enjoy knocking out a km or 2 now and then ,,,,,,never give up…….
WOW. Absolutely stunning writing. So concise, but so touching and powerful. Tried to read it out loud to my 10 year-old, but couldn’t finish out loud (something must have gotten in my eye…)
It means the world to hear that. This was actually an excerpt from my senior speech that I gave at my last team banquet, safe to say I could barely get the last line out.
My coach told me something when I was going through a rough time with stress before meets. He said, “Embrace every chance to race, because someday–whether it’s tomorrow, 3 months, 2 years, or 7 years–you will swim your last race. You’ll finish, and you won’t want it to be over. You will miss everything–the grind, the stress, the commitment. So live in the moment and think of what will make you miss the sport someday.” That idea keeps me going on rough days.
Love this – thank you!