Shouts From The Stands: A Letter To My Past Self Before My Taper Meet

SwimSwam welcomes reader submissions about all topics aquatic, and if it’s well-written and well-thought, we might just post it under our “Shouts from the Stands” series. We don’t necessarily endorse the content of the Shouts from the Stands posts, and the opinions remain those of their authors. If you have thoughts to share, please [email protected].

This “Shouts from the Stands” submission comes from Kristen Toth

Dear Self,

You’ve worked hard all season; you’ve never had a season like this one. You’ve done more yards than you ever thought you could, and your training improved more than you could have ever hoped for. You’re almost done with your freshman swim season! I know you’re ready for this. In fact, I don’t think you’ve ever been more ready for a meet in the ten years you’ve been swimming.

But this meet is going to hit you hard. You’re going to do well on the first day, and then you’re going to come down with a virus and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s out of your control, so you’re going to need to push through. You’re going to need to get into the pool and race. And you will be disappointed by how you do. Your times won’t be anywhere near your lifetime bests from last year, despite the countless hours of extra work you did this year. And you need to realize that it’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You did everything you were asked to do at practice. You pushed yourself, and you stayed looking on the bright side. But the universe is going to pelt you with some fastballs this meet, and instead of having to battle it out in the pool like you were prepared to, you’re going to need to be ready to fight the battles in your head when you see that clock. It’s going to sting…a lot…to know that something so out of your control is draining your performance. But I want you to remember that there’s more to your identity than just being a swimmer. You’re also a teammate. A sister. A daughter. A student. A friend.  And it’s when you don’t perform well, my dear, that it’s not you as a swimmer being tested, but your entire character. Sometimes swimming is a physical test, and sometimes it’s a mental one. It’s okay to be upset if your taper meet doesn’t go as planned. But promise me you won’t dwell on it. Use it to fuel you going into the next training cycle.

Remember though, that just because you do everything right does not mean the universe owes you anything. It doesn’t. But I don’t want this meet to change who you are as a swimmer, or as a teammate, sister, daughter, student, or friend. I want you to continue to train until your body begs you to stop. I want you to still go into every practice happy to be there, and grateful to have such wonderful teammates surround you and push you everyday. After all, it will be your teammates who let you fall apart to them over the weekend when things aren’t going as planned. And they will try to make you feel better, but it will be up to you to pull yourself back together.

If there’s one thing I want you to especially remember at this meet, it’s that you can’t control everything that life throws out at you. Sometimes you will have success, and sometimes you will have some tough life lessons (don’t you dare think this was a failure because you learned so much). Our character is defined not by how we handle the good stuff, but how we find the motivation to keep going despite this adversity. Keep powering through, good things will come.

Love,

Your future Self