10 Signs You May Be a Helicopter Swim Parent

Courtesy of Elizabeth Wickham

When I was a kid, we didn’t have year-round sports in my small town. We didn’t specialize in one sport at an early age or take private lessons.

Today, we spend countless hours driving our kids to practice—at dawn, in the evenings, to meets on weekends—50 weeks a year. We want our kids to be successful in academics and swimming. All this emphasis on success can lead to “helicopter parenting.”

We helicopter for many reasons. We no longer feel our society is safe, where our kids can roam freely and play outside, running in and out of neighbors’ yards, or riding bikes for miles. So, we take over our child’s free time and provide structured activities. The competition to get into college makes academics more of a priority than in previous generations, so we hover over their homework, too. The downside of constant helicoptering is that we don’t let our kids experience failure or how to learn from mistakes.

Here are 10 signs that you might be a helicopter swim parent. These examples are from my own mistakes and observing parents through the years.

1. You wait patiently by the posting board to find out the heat and lane for your swimmer.

2. You tell your swimmer when to warm up before a race, and when to get out and head to the blocks.

3. You stand behind the blocks to make sure the timers get your swimmer’s time correctly.

4. You write down “your swimmer’s goals” on 3 x 5 cards, without your swimmer’s input.

5. You walk with your child to the coach after a race so you can give your critique first.

6. You stand between your swimmer and the coach so you can hear every word the coach says.

7. During a race, you walk up and down the side of the pool so you can yell/cheer at every stroke and breath.

8. You carry a clip board and write down your swimmer’s times—and their teammates—and various other competitors.

9. At a meet, the coach instructs swimmers to wear practice suits. But, you bring a fast suit and insist your child gets suited up.

10. You coach your child during practice, shouting “kick” or “keep your head down” from the stands.

What other things have you seen helicopter swim parents do?

Elizabeth Wickham volunteered for 14 years on her kids’ club team as board member, fundraiser, newsletter editor and “Mrs. meet manager.” She’s a writer with a bachelor of arts degree in editorial journalism from the University of Washington with a long career in public relations, marketing and advertising. Her stories have appeared in newspapers and magazines including the Los Angeles Times, Orange County Parenting and Ladybug. You can read more parenting tips on her blog.