We at Swimswam know how important the holidays are. Swimmers are thrust into holiday training yet the few-day break during Christmas is what the swimmers live for. After that it’s off to somewhere warm with the team for a training camp of grueling sets, tough dry-land, and day-long ice baths and crying fits.
In the spirit of the little break we have now before training camp or the continuation of holiday training, here’s a Swimswam original.
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM SWIMSWAM.
‘Twas the night before Christmas and not a swimmer was stirring
Their skin itchy and red from the chlorine burning
A day off was near, the pools would be closed
The swimmers all came home from practice and happily dozed
Except little Jimmy with a 1500 free Jr. Nats Cut
He had a bad feeling down deep in his gut
He remembered his coach’s words, his face as he laughed
“On the 26th we’re doing the 12 sets of Christmas to welcome y’all back”
He closed his eyes yet all he saw were numbers and brackets
400 IMs, no fins, hardly any rest, the most ridiculous practice
The pool deck turned black, the water churned and spit
10×1000 Free and I want all of them done with a negative split!
He hopped in the water with Phelps to his left and Lochte to his right
If you don’t beat these two guys you’ll be here all night
Phelps looked at him and winked, Lochte gave him a ‘Jeah’
Ready go! They started off, Jimmy was losing oh so bad
Jimmy finally finished and touched the wall in third
That wasn’t done with a negative split his coach whirled and slurred
Do the rest of them fly he said with a grin
And make sure to watch the position of your chin!
From the blocks they dove, yet Jimmy couldn’t move
His arms stopped working, his legs did too
He was flailing in the water, Lochte and Phelps were laughing and pointing
His coach just shook his head it was so disappointing
They did set after set, hour by hour
Jimmy’s mood worsened and began to grow sour
Now 10 400 IMs, he only had one left
Finish this 400 IM and move on to the next set
Jimmy finished his 400 IM, and looked at the clock
3 Hours had passed, yet he climbed up on the block
15 200s fly his coach yelled, we’ll be here all year!
He began to form a smile from ear to ear
Jimmy did the first seven, yet his coach was not impressed
Jimmy was fed-up, got out, and stood on the deck
I’m done with this practice, I can’t do this anymore
His knees buckled he wept and he fell to the floor
His coach’s face went bright red furious with the disrespect
His eyes grew wide, he laughed, and put his stopwatch around Jimmy’s neck
Suddenly Jimmy woke up! He looked at the time
It was 8 a.m Christmas Morning, Christmas bells began to chime
He ran downstairs, he sprinted to the tree
His parents were there happy as could be
Open your first gift they said, he began to unwrap
A grab box from Swimoutlet, a brand new Speedo cap
Then he saw one more gift, as thin as could be
On it said ‘from coach’ what could this mean?
He began to open it, and tore open the paper
It was a tiny letter that said, no 12 sets of Christmas, we’re going to taper