Happy 150th Birthday, Eh: The Struggles Of Being A Canadian Swimmer

Today, Canada celebrates 150 years of existence. While that may not sound like a long time to our American readers, us Canadians are proud to have made it that long.

Now, you Canadians may be out celebrating Canada Day in Ottawa this weekend, or out at the cottage, and wherever you are we know you’ll be checking your phone constantly as NHL free agent frenzy kicks off at noon.

But wherever you are, how ever you’re celebrating this weekend, you deserve it. Canadians face a lot more obstacles than anyone else could ever understand, and that’s no different for us swimmers.

Below, check out the five biggest obstacles a Canadian swimmer faces.

1. Being Too Polite = Bad Warm-up

We’ve all been there. You’re at a meet, maybe an important one, you need to warm-up, and the pool is packed. There’s no room to do an adequate warm-up, at least, not without running a bunch of people over. And that’s not our style. Do you know how many times we’d have to say “sorry”.

Heck, it’s hard enough to even push off the wall. Telling everyone to go ahead eventually takes a toll. Once there’s enough room to warm-up without getting in anyone’s way, it’s too late. There’s like ten minutes remaining, and of course one of the officials is going to tell you to get out in four.

2. Too Much Snow

Another hindrance of being a Canadian swimmer? It’s winter, like, 11 months of the year. That means no outdoor pools, and getting to practice isn’t always the easiest thing.

You wake up for morning practice, and the roads are a mess. Snow, ice everywhere. It may even be hard to get out of the driveway. But hey, we persevere. We make it. And we’ll probably be rewarded with the day off school, a “snow day”, after practice.

3. Maple Syrup Crash/Overdose

Canadians love maple syrup. It’s difficult to resist the morning of a meet. You get that nice sugar kick, and also get in some carbs for energy from the pancakes, waffles or crepes. But you can take it too far, and this one’s completely in our control.

We douse the pancakes in syrup, and it seems like a good idea, but too much is too much. You get hit with that sugar crash, and your swims at the meet reflect it. Come on guys.

4. Long Tim Hortons Line

On the way to practice, or a meet, of course you’re gonna stop in at Tim Hortons and get a quick snack, maybe a donut, and a coffee or an iced capp. More often than not, the line is long, especially the drive thru. We knew this going in, but didn’t account for it by leaving early. So we usually arrive late for practice or warm-up. Sorry coach.

5. Animals Getting In The Way

Whether it’s a Canadian goose crossing, a stray moose on the highway, or we get into a fight with a polar bear, there are many animal obstacles that slow us down on our way to practice. We just gotta hope we don’t get roped into helping a beaver build his dam and we shouldn’t be too late.

3
Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of

3 Comments
newest
oldest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
David
6 years ago

Comment removed for disrespecting the northern neighbour

Ben
6 years ago

Don’t forget the Canadark, where our entire country has 2 months of no sunlight, even in South Western Ontario (that’s further south of Seattle). There’s something mystical about our winters.

In all seriousness though, there are times in certain regions where the snow makes it hard to travel, even inside a big city that has plenty of snowplows.

why are you like this
6 years ago

why are you like this

About James Sutherland

James Sutherland

James swam five years at Laurentian University in Sudbury, Ontario, specializing in the 200 free, back and IM. He finished up his collegiate swimming career in 2018, graduating with a bachelor's degree in economics. In 2019 he completed his graduate degree in sports journalism. Prior to going to Laurentian, James swam …

Read More »