Currently in a Relationship: With Swimming

Courtesy: Elizabeth Spencer Rosenthal

As the calendar flipturns into February, the temperature outside can feel frigid, but your relationship (with swimming) may really be heating up! If skipping practice feels wrong and early mornings feel right, you may just be head over heels for swimming.

Like any great romance, falling in love with swimming requires commitment, patience, sacrifice, and choosing something again and again. For some, it can be love at first splash. Others take more of a one-stroke-at-a-time approach, gradually building into something more enduring. Maybe you start out falling in love with the fun, the friendships, your school or your team. And then with the journey and with your progress. Until one day you realize you’re in it for good.

It can feel like you share your own secret love language that only swimmers know. You become fluent in reading a heat sheet, and privy to special abbreviations such as DQ, IM and PR. You learn and discern the vital difference between SCY, SCM and LCM.

For those who view the world through rose-colored goggles, a love affair with swimming can appear in many forms. There’s that First Love feeling of the kid who can’t wait to jump in! And the Enduring Love of a Master’s swimmer who still shows up day after day, year after year. There’s also some Tough Love to be felt, from that coach or teammate who holds you accountable and refuses to see you settle. And then there’s Love Everlasting, the kind that’s truly, madly, deeply, off the deep end!

Sometimes swimming can feel like unrequited love, when you love the sport more than it seems to love you back. You give and give and don’t quite get the same in return. But, you get just enough to keep you coming back for more.

There was a time when my daughter decided it was time to break up with the 100 butterfly. She just felt she had a stronger relationship with breaststroke. Until one day, she felt betrayed by her beloved breaststroke as well. It was time to explore other options and rekindle the love with butterfly. It was a beautiful reunion, as her previously jilted stroke welcomed her back, with open (and simultaneous) arms.

Perhaps that’s one way you know your crush on swimming has turned into a full-blown relationship. It waits for you to figure things out. It forgives you when you struggle, and asks only that you come back, willing to give it another chance.

I wish I could say that swimming will never break your heart. But that would be leading you on. Swimming, like love, can be cold and unforgiving. It can betray you when you least expect it. Missing that elusive time cut by 0.01. An illness or injury that can end your season prematurely. Your shiny new tech suit that held so much promise but can’t handle the pressure, tearing your heart along with its seams. It can sadden your soul when your favorite teammate transfers, or a trusted coach moves on. In the moment, it may feel like you are drowning in your sorrows, but you work through the tough times and come back stronger. You realize you can manage the heartache and put yourself back in the game, without turning your back on everything that is good.

Even when it’s really over, your relationship with swimming can be a source of tender memories that linger for a lifetime. Maybe you have a treasure trove of trophies or a mountain of medals, a living tribute to your conquests in the water, your prowess in the pool. You’ve probably got lots of photographic evidence as well, high-definition action shots that capture your glory, in the heat of the moment of competition.

While you may not typically turn to SwimSwam for advice on matters of the heart, perhaps some relationship coaching is in order. Here are some ways to keep your love alive and kicking, and remain in a good emotional lane:

Communication is key!(with your coach and your teammates.)

Remember why you fell in love! (with swimming.)

Give each other some space!Take a little break when you need it.

Don’t keep score all the time!Yes, times matter, but so do healthy relationships.

Listen! To your body. To your coach. To your heart.

As strong as your relationship with the sport of swimming may be, some are also lucky enough to find true love, human love, on the pool deck. That special someone who makes your heart take an extra flutter kick. Who shares your passion and commitment, your struggles and your dreams. That’s the gold medal moment when your your lane mate becomes your soul mate, or your training partner becomes your partner in life. And of course there’s always the smell of chlorine that stays with you no matter what. It’s the scent of devotion that will never leave you.

ABOUT ELIZABETH SPENCER ROSENTHAL

Elizabeth Spencer Rosenthal is a wife and mother of 3 from Miami. She is a passionate swim mom, volunteer and meet official, with a professional background in marketing and public relations. She holds a degree in Public Communication from American University, and loves finding a story to tell.